The Celebrities

With Celebrity Chef associated with the store, the celebrities followed.  Most of them all claimed to be very close with him.  So close they had no idea that A) he didn’t have an office there and B) he barely had anything to do with the place.  They always said, “say hi to Celebrity Chef for me.”  I met the man 3 times and I’m sure he still has no idea who I am.  “Of course I’ll say hi!”  Hey ,whatever gets them to buy wine.

A famous actress from an NBC drama came in just before Christmas.  She had her Nanny and her toddler in tow.  She’s absolutely gorgeous in person, but a bit ditzy.  She came in and started running around the store and the kitchen showing her Nanny the space.  She kept asking for Rob, who hadn’t worked there in about a year and Opus One which is a California wine.  Since we only carried Italian wine I thought she must be crazy.  I gently told her, “Excuse me Ms. NBC Actress, but I believe Arnie is your contact here.”  She said “Tell him I said hi.  Tell Celebrity Chef I said hi.  Merry Christmas.”  And left.  Arnie passed her to me as a client, but I only sold her some cheap wine.  One evening Celebrity Chef was in taping a TV show and he told me all about Ms. NBC actress from a party he had there one night.  Apparently, he used to have many of these parties.  But, on one occasion, Ms. NBC actress drank too much and got up on our glass counter and started dancing and stomping about wildly.  I can’t imagine how that counter didn’t shatter into a million pieces, but it’s still there today.

I got lucky one day and answered the phone only to get a famous news woman who was looking to buy a gift for a colleague.  She had called me back after our initial conversation.  I got her personal cell and e-mail.  She was just as nice and personable as she is on TV.  I only did the one big sale with her.

Another ABC drama actor came in to the store with his wife looking for Amaro.  After assisting his purchase, I asked him if they were planning a Boston Public reunion.  I’m so stupid.  That was not his show!

A young movie actor is a cheapskate.  His assistant called to get a cheap Tuscan wine.  I gave the assistant the cost for a case, $16.50/bottle plus 8% off the case.  She said. “Is that all you can do for my boss?”  Bitch, I can afford this wine.  He can afford 20 cases of it.  Piss off.

A young female country singer called personally and got one of my colleagues on the phone.  She sent a bottle of Amarone over to one of the hottest rockers on the planet.  Why can’t I get these calls?

A famous reality TV show host came to an event.  He stayed 10 minutes.  I didn’t get to work the party and Simon didn’t know who he was or what I was talking about when I said his famous catch phrase.

A famous designer came to a party as well.  He only drank Panna (yes he requested the water by its brand name) and didn’t eat at all.  Guess that’s why he’s so rail thin.

I worked a small dinner event in the kitchen and in walked a famous comedian.  We had no idea he was the childhood friend of the guest of honor.  He was quiet and didn’t crack any jokes.  I guess it’s true about all those comedians who in real life are pretty miserable.

My colleagues got to work an event of their dreams.  I really didn’t recognize anyone but the one famous football announcer and a few football guys that I didn’t even know their names.  But, my colleagues were in heaven.

A famous TV actress came in often.  She had a restaurant in the area that she owned with her husband. The first time she came in, she came with her husband who is hot!  She had a child with her and I had to ask the child’s name because I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or girl with all the long hair.  The child was a boy about 5 years old.  They came in the shop to look around and then left.  Roberto chased them out and invited them back in for lunch.  They ate our family meal leftovers and drank the wine we opened for the store tasting.  They bought nothing.  The actress came in several times after that.  Once she got pregnant again she had disappeared.  She was so nice and down to earth.  She told me once that it was a pleasure to meet me and even extended her hand for a shake.  She never once bought anything in all the visits.  Eventually, their restaurant went under.

A legendary news woman attended an event.  Apparently, she was chased into the store by a homeless man.  At the same party was a famous daughter of a legendary politician who I missed, but my colleagues said she was absolutely amazing in person.

Roberto took a call from HBO and passed the call to my colleague.  HBO ordered a $150 bottle of wine to send over to one of the hottest former boy-band singers before his MSG concert.  Again, why didn’t I get that call?  Dina told the Mexican delivering it to bring his sexy back.

One time this guy came in and I thought it was one of my customers.  I fawned over him telling him, nice to see you, how are you.  He winced at me.  He asked if the chef was here.  Then I knew who it was – a nasty Top Chef  contestant.  I asked him to wait one minute.  I went into the back and couldn’t find Chef.  The Sous Chef said she would be back in 35-40 minutes.  I told Top Chef that Chef wasn’t in.  He said “Tell her I stopped by.”  I said, “and your name?”  Oh, I loved taking him down a notch!  I heard the sous chef’s talking a few weeks ago and said what an ass he is.  He told me his name, got on his bicycle and pedaled away.  I still laugh at this story.

I took a call once from a guy who was on the Sopranos.  He was sending a gift to someone else on the show.  When he told me who the gift was for, I commented how much I loved the show and I loved that actor.  He got offended and told me he was on the show, too.  I hate to say that I had to Google him to find out who he was, but he really was on the show, too.

Because of Celebrity Chef, we had a lot of Food Network people.  One UK Chef came in once and even interrupted a party during my wine speech so he could look at the salumeria.  He bought a gift for a female Food Network Chef and said that the item he was buying was as big as her head.  I’m positive he made a pun.  The Female Food Network Chef was a huge client there using us for gifts mostly.  When she said jump, we usually did.  One of the judges from the The Next Food Network star was in and she was excited that I actually recognized her.  I still don’t know her name. A famous author and food magazine editor used us for gifts as well.  It was an honor to do business with her.  

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