Champagne Wishes

My colleagues don't believe that my least favorite question is someone who is looking for a Champagne that is "not too sweet and not too dry".  This questions always comes for almost any wine, but for bubbly, it's difficult to comprehend for some.

Brut - This is the driest form of Bubbly. Bone dry.

Extra-Dry - Sounds drier right?  It's not.  It's less-dry than Brut.  Thus the confusion.

Now this has to be explained over and over to customers and on New Year's Eve it's quite the nightmare.  With real Champagne, wine that actually comes from Champagne, France (this is a whole other topic), the semi-sweet wines are usually more expensive than the Brut because they make less of it.  So, then we have to talk about frutiness or talk about other regions which really blows their minds.  

One sale in this aisle can take longer than standing in line at Costco on a Sunday afternoon.  It takes too much effort and is my least favorite question at the wine store.

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Look at Me

One day I was in the store, replying to an e-mail from one of my customers.  I was trying to concentrate on the e-mail to make sure I quoted him some prices correctly.  Just then, a customer in the store, asked me a question.  I don't remember what the question was, but it doesn't matter.  Let's say he asked me where the Merlot was.  I told him Merlot was on his right-hand side as I continued to respond to my e-mail.  He then bellowed, "LOOK AT ME!!!!!"

I looked up at the crazy man standing before me.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU TALK TO ME."  It's rude not to look at me when I'm talking to you.

I said, "Sir, I'm looking at the person who spoke to me first.  He is getting a timely e-mail response to his question which was asked before yours and I'm multi-tasking with you.  What, can I assist you with?"

That was enough.  He went away.  Freak.

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Remember Me?

If I had a quarter for every customer I assisted only once and asked me on their second trip in, 

"Remember me?"  

I'd be fairly rich. 

I help hundreds of people every week and during the holidays, I'm sure that number is in the thousands.  I remember the high end guys, not always their names, but by faces.  I know my e-mail high-end guys by name only and wouldn't recognize them if they stopped in.  I know all the regulars by face only and if I know 1% of their names, I'm probably exaggerating.  But, to ask me if I remember you after I helped you one time only, you've got to be joking!

And not only do they want me to remember them, I'm supposed to remember every wine selection I recommended for them!

A customer came in the other day and did something I wrote about already.  He leaned over the table right behind me and breathed on the back of my head because I should know he was there waiting...behind me.  So, I started to turn around and he scared the heck out of me!

Customer: "Remember me?"

Me: "How can I help you today?" (notice I don't say no)

Customer: "Remember the wines you gave me the other day?"

Me: "Did you like them?" (me getting around the issue)

Customer: "Yes.  They were right around here as he points to an area."

Me: "Why don't I look your account up."

Thank god for our system of tracking purchases so I could "remember" every wine I recommended for him. I got him his wine and off he went.  I'm sure I won't "remember him" next time either.

The best customer is the one who comes in 1x every year because she doesn't drink, but buys a gift.  

"Remember what you recommended for me last year about this time?"

"No, no I don't."

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Let Me Get That For You

Yes, I'm a woman.  I'm a strong woman, both physically and mentally.  I can carry a case of wine about 35 pounds.  I can carry more than 50 pounds at least.  But, those male customers think I'm  a fragile woman who can't climb, lift, carry or walk a case of wine anywhere, because I am a woman.

Sometimes it's necessary to get a ladder, climb it, search for a case of wine above the shelves, grab it, carry it down the stairs and either place it in  customer's cart or carry it up to the front.  The male customers always say:

"Let me get that for you."

"Can I go up and get it?"

"Drop it down to me."

My answer is always no.  Besides the fact that I am a physically strong woman (Hey, I work out with Lisa at www.bodyrock.tv.), it's a sure-fire liability.  If he hurts himself on the ladder, hurts his back, I drop it on his head, etc... it's a lawsuit in the works.

Sometimes I have to grab a case that's on the floor under the shelving unit.  When he says "Let me get that," I always make a point to grab it, lift it over my head and show him I'm OK.  I usually say, "You can't work here unless you can carry a case of wine."  Which is true.  

So guys, get over yourselves.  Let a woman help you for a change especially when it's my job.

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This is Not a Gas Station

Let me ask you a question.  When you go driving somewhere you have never been, what do you do?

Do you:

A) Use your GPS?

B) Print or write out directions from www.mapquest.com?

C) Stop at a gas station to ask directions?

D) Stop at a VERY large wine store, get out of your car, come inside and ask for directions?

Now, I know you smart folks picked A or B and maybe even sometimes had to use C when you really didn't want to, but at least 3x every week, some poor guy always comes in to bother us, not shop and demand we drop everything to find their point of destination.  I have had guys interrupt me while I'm assisting a shopper, interrupt my cashiers while they are ringing someone up and I have had the same guy ask more than one person, usually when English is a second language, bother multiple employees.

Please, the wine store is not a place to ask for directions, especially when we are busy.  Sometimes, I'll point them to the gas station down the street.

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It's Seasonal

We were out of a wine, so I asked my purchaser to get more.  He checked and the wholesaler replied that there was no more because "it's seasonal."  I looked at my purchaser and said, "all wine is seasonal."  It's harvested in the fall, one of the 4 seasons, and when the wine is gone, you have to wait for the season, fall, to come back again in order to get more.  Of course, it's seasonal!

Sigh.  Lift hand.  Bang head.

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Saying Hello From a Mile Away

 I work in a very large store.  It''s 25,000 square feet.  It used to be a furniture warehouse.  You know, those are never small.  The other day I was at the back of the store, literally about 5 feet from the back wall.  A customer was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay at the front of the store, in my same aisle, really close to a cashier.  She looked at me and started screaming "HELLO!!!!!!!!!!    HELL-O!!!!!!"

I looked at her.  She must be crazy I thought, screaming all the way down the store to me.  Is no one else closer to her??

She yelled again, "HELLLOOOOOOOOO!"

She's kidding, right?  Did she expect me to YELL back at her or run so fast to the front to assist her as fast as I could?

I lifted my walkie talkie, called for assistance and went about my business. 

The holidays will be a lot of fun this year!

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